Handshakes on a Sunday Morning
November 3, 2007
In photo: Pearl, Adam & Elmer
I’m not sure exactly how it began, but within a few months of moving to Wendell, Idaho and working in a small, rural PC(USA) church, Elmer and I connected. I’m not sure why we did to be honest. I was a recent college graduate, a punk kid with out-of-control facial hair and an earing, who played loud “modern worship” music during church. But we certainly did connect. My pastor and I would walk up to the front towards the beginning of the service, and one Sunday, as I passed Elmer, I shook his hand. Just a simple handshake. After awhile, it began to be “our thing.” We couldn’t start the service until I had shaken Elmer’s hand. Every now and then, I’d just walk right past him, then turn around - he’d be smiling at me, I at him, and then I’d come back and shake his hand.
Elmer and Pearl (in the above photo) were probably our church’s oldest members in a dating relationship. They were wonderful - cooked meals together, went out, but lived in their own homes. I always thought it was sad that they just couldn’t get married, but if they did, they would have lost their Social Security and it would have been financially unfeasible for them. I thought they should just move in together, but that would not have gone over well in the local, Idaho culture. Elmer and Pearl were a lot of fun, and I looked forward to seeing them together whenever I went back to Idaho to meet with my Committee on Preparation for Ministry.
When Sarah and I were there back in August, Pearl’s son had just been killed in a motorcycle accident, and Elmer was in the hospital and not doing well. He had a very rough year health-wise, and things weren’t looking much better. Tonight, I received two emails from close friends in Wendell letting me know that two nights ago, November 1st, Elmer passed away. I can’t imagine how this is for Pearl - first losing her son this past summer and now her partner, Elmer. If you think about it, keep Pearl in your prayers over the next few weeks - I know she, along with many others, will be missing Elmer.
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Adam Walker Cleaveland: I am a 28 yr old 
November 3rd, 2007 at 12:39 pm
That is a touching story!!
November 3rd, 2007 at 4:28 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. The most precious gift of serving in ministry are the lives we come in contact with.
November 3rd, 2007 at 11:15 pm
he died on all saints day…how appropriate.
peace.
b
November 4th, 2007 at 12:50 am
i’m sorry for your loss.
shalom, adam wc
November 4th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Adam, I’m so sorry to hear about Elmer. Indeed Pearl, as well as you will be in my prayers.
Thank you for sharing your friends with us.
Peace.
November 5th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Very moving…us ministers seem to always have special people that encourage our work in the church. I remember how i felt when I heard about the passing of an elderly man who was always saying encouraging things to me each Sunday morning. He even sold me his boat for way less than it was worth because he knew I would take youth out fishing! It was nice of you to memorialize him on your blog.
November 6th, 2007 at 9:16 am
Wow.. its 8:16 and I’m tearing up at work. Touching story.