The Parable of the Good Tele-Evangelist
October 20, 2006
{We were told to re-cast a parable of Luke in contemporary terms. I chose to look at the Parable of the Good Samaritan…from a different angle}
During the 218th General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA), held at San Jose in 2008, on the last day, during the last scheduled Business Meeting on the docket…Jesus appeared. No one knew quite what to make of it. There were a host of different reactions. The Presbyterians For Renewal were excited, though a bit fearful of what Jesus was going to say about the “theological trajectory” of their denomination. The More Light Presbyterians didn’t really know what to think at all. All of the YADs (Youth Advisory Delegates) just ran up to Jesus and started asking him questions, talking a mile a minute, as they followed him up to the front of the convention hall. Everyone in the assembly was quite shocked, and a bit tongue-tied, until one of the youngest YADs looked up at Jesus and asked, “Are you going to tell us a story?” Jesus smiled and asked, “Is that alright…?”
Jesus didn’t walk up onto the stage, but did graciously receive the Garth-Brooks-style headset microphone as he began to tell such wonderful stories. After a few hours, just when he was about to grab one of the brown bag lunches from a YAD, the Stated Clerk stood up. It appeared he had a comment, or a question. The expression on his face told everyone that he had a good one. “Mr….Jesus. We really do appreciate all of these stories, but I’m wondering if you could answer one question for me. I would like to know what I must do to really experience life…to experience abundant life?”
Jesus replied, “It seems to me there are plenty of answers in that black leather-bound NRSV you have, or your Book of Confessions, and possibly even in that Book of Order you have sitting on top of the others. You tell me.”
Feeling fairly confident, the Stated Clerk replied, “In accordance with the Holy Scriptures, both the Hebrew Scriptures and the New Testament, our Book of Confessions and the Book of Order, I would say that in order to experience life, true life, I must love and serve God with everything that I am and with everything that I have, all the while doing it decently and in order. And I must love those around me, my neighbors, just as I love myself.”
“Yes, that sounds pretty good,” Jesus replied. “I’d say if you tried this, you would experience a deep abundance of life.”
But the Stated Clerk didn’t want to let Jesus off that easy (and he wanted a clearer answer from Jesus – after all, how often did you get to ask Jesus – THE Jesus, a question like this?), so he prodded him a bit, “Okay, well…can I get a little clarification? Who exactly should I consider to be my neighbor?”
Jesus replied by telling one last story: “In Spokane, WA there is a neighborhood called the West Central neighborhood. While it contains Washington state’s largest National Historic District, it suffered incredibly due to the mid-century suburban flight. It is one of, if not the most poor, neighborhoods in Washington state. Poverty is evident everywhere, houses are abandoned, dilapidated – some are condemned. People’s spirits are stripped, broken, beaten…almost dead. One day a few Presbyterian pastors, on their way to a local clergy lunch at a swanky pub, accidentally ended up in the neighborhood. As they drove through the neighborhood, they began to think of ways they could help the neighborhood ‘get back on it’s feet.’ They thought about planting some churches, getting some new pastors in neighborhood. Both pastors sat on the Committee on Ministry and tried to think if there were any potential Candidates who might want a parish in a struggling run-down neighborhood. After running through the list in their head, they realized there were none. And besides, they thought that their bright, able young Candidates would better serve the church elsewhere. As they sat down for their burgers and beer, they forgot all about the West Central neighborhood.
“A few months later, the Moderator of the PCUSA was in Spokane for a Presbytery meeting, and ended up driving through the West Central neighborhood. The Moderator was late for the meeting, and although she realized the poor conditions that so many people endured in West Central, she realized there was nothing she could do. Besides, she was late for an important Presbytery meeting, where many pastors would come together and discuss and debate all sorts of important matters, such as the Fundraising Campaign Second Presbyterian Church was going to begin so they could build a larger gymnasium for their church.
“Again, a few months later, Pat Robertson was in Spokane, WA and happened to find himself driving through the West Central neighborhood one afternoon. He stopped the car, got out and walked around. As he began to meet some of the local residents, his heart ached for the poor and impoverished people. He went back to his car and called the 700 Club’s 1-800 hotline. Within a few hours, there was a TBN TV-crew in West Central and Pat urged local TBN viewers to come out that very afternoon and help the West Central neighborhood. Within another hour, a few hundred people (all self-proclaimed Conservative Evangelical Fundamentalists) were picking up trash, going door to door asking what house or yard work could be done, setting up mobile soup kitchens and giving out perishable goods, all while establishing friendships with the West Central residents.
“Which person do you think acted neighborly and lovingly to the poverty-stricken people of West Central?” Jesus asked.
The Stated Clerk replied in a hushed, barely audible tone, “The person who hosts the 700 Club.”
Jesus replied, “Well then – there it is. Looks like you have a good example.”
Posted in PC(USA)
Adam Walker Cleaveland: 
October 20th, 2006 at 7:56 am
indeed..
and i think very much how it might have been told at CTS..
well done..
mark
October 20th, 2006 at 9:02 am
It does a good and imaginative job thinking through who would the Samaritan be today. Typical surprise/reversal of a parable. Well done. The only thing is that by concretizing the Samaritan as the historical figure Pat Robertson, one looses the general character of what it means to have mercy and get instead a figure to look to as an example. This could confuse the audience who might understand “Be like Pat Robertson” instead of “Go and do likewise.” Given your own take on things, I don’t think you’d want that confusion.
Interesting! Thanks.
October 20th, 2006 at 10:23 am
Excellent re-telling, a good reminder to be careful how we paint others even when we may disagree with them greatly.
October 20th, 2006 at 10:57 am
would pat robertson really do something like that? In the story he is definitely the neighbor - but I agree that considering Pat’s history, it would be difficult to distinguish between that good act and the myriad acts that might fall into another category. If I were listening I would ask Jesus to clarify - I’d say “what about all this other stuff Pat has said and done - should I follow that too or are you just talking about this one time?”. just a thought.
October 20th, 2006 at 11:08 am
thank you
October 20th, 2006 at 12:54 pm
Even though I have my own feelings about good ‘ol Pat, he DOES do these things…someone above asked if he would really do something like this. My best friend went to New Orleans for Katrina relief last week through an organization headed by Pat (unbeknownest to her at the outset). They were there all week (as was Pat), rebuilding homes, encouraging families, and even staying in shelters in the area.
So yes, he does do things like this.
Adam, this is great…I hope it gets hits out the wazoo.
October 20th, 2006 at 2:46 pm
I think I have a problem with this retelling of the parable because of the reasons why the Samaritan and Mr. Robertson are considered outcast.
The Samaritan was outcast and powerless because he was a member of a particular group that the powers that be had said was worthy of contempt.
Mr. Robertson, if he is outcast and downtrodden, (and I should be so outcast and downtrodden) it is because of the incredibly stupid and hurtful things that he, himself, has said on national television.
There’s a huge difference there.
It seems to me that we already hear enough bleating from the religious right about how oppressed they are because same-sex couples in Massachusetts are able to get married or women are able to choose to have abortions, I don’t think we need to add to that idea of oppression.
October 20th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
So Adam, at about this time, shouldn’t somebody be grabbing you by the scruff of the neck and dragging you out to the edge of the city to throw you off a cliff? There’s historical precedent for that for people who tell stories like this. thus spoke churchpundit! (ps: good one!)
October 20th, 2006 at 3:39 pm
Meghan…I’m with you. Believe me, I am. You know my thoughts about Pat Robertson from reading my blog here. But…I think part of what this parable does is show the absolute and incredible reversal that happens in the kingdom of God. The Samaritan would have been one of the LAST ones the Teachers of the Law would have thought would be included in the Kingdom.
So to have the Samaritan included as the one who is in fact exemplifying kingdom living…that’s ridiculous!
So, in an effort to experience similar shock, I would picture Jesus talking to Presbyterians and other mainliners and lifting up some crazy fundamentalist who has some pretty whacked out theologies…
And I would imagine Jesus telling a similar story on the 700 Club and telling the story about the Good Muslim, or the Good Lesbian or the Good Bishop John Shelby Spong.
As I would also imagine Jesus telling a similar story to southern Idaho conservative Christians and telling the story about the Good Mormon…
etc, etc. You get the idea.
THUS MUSED POMOMUSINGS
October 20th, 2006 at 4:31 pm
Adam,
I understand your point, I guess I just mourn the loss of what are, to me, two very important points of the Samaritan story.
1) The Samaritan helps someone who he knew, if he had been awake, would not have let the Samaritan within 10 feet of him.
2) The Samaritan surrenders both his money and his time without hope of reward, simply because it’s the right thing to do.
I may well be slandering Mr. Robertson, but it seems, in the context of your story, that he stands to gain quite a bit from his actions, TV ratings, contributions, etc.
I don’t mean to hijack the thread, or to be someone who completely misses the point, but the idea that God calls us to do what is right simply because it’s right, without hope of reward, and that we are called to do that right for the people that the culture tells us to stay away from is the very heart of my personal theology, and your version of the parable seems to leave those ideas out.
October 20th, 2006 at 4:45 pm
Adam,
This parable is great. I find that so often our tendency is to react against our fellow Christians when in reality, I believe Christ calls us to bridge the gaps and perhaps begrudgingly swallow our pride. Who we argue against is often who we should be attempting to work with the most. And even though we may disagree with methodology and some logical conclusions, it is important to recognize that if bodies AND souls should benefit, then we must be silent. All in all, nice job in creativity and relevancy.
Andrew
aim (marshill47)
October 21st, 2006 at 1:06 am
While the focus of the comments has so ar been exclusively on the Pat Robertson angle, the worse analogy is comparing a nieghborhood to a person attacked and left for dead.
Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the development or decline of the west central nieghborhood, the residents have a choice - are they going to let it become a slum or take some pride in it?
Portraying a rundown neighborhood as a helpless victim of circumstances is pandering to a particular mentality of victimhood that discourages people from taking the initiative in their own lives.
The contrast with the victim in the Good Samritan story is quite stark.
October 21st, 2006 at 1:26 am
I think I felt the same way the Jewish people must have felt after reading to that story. Excellent job!!! I’m sure the samaritan is going to be different in all of our lives, it just happens to be the messed up tv evangelist in mine.
October 22nd, 2006 at 10:12 am
This is a great, great post.
Most of the people whining in this thread about Pat will never do as much for the kingdom or for people as he will, but they condemn him for saying “hateful” things.
Well, Jesus said a lot of things with a lot of truth that sound hateful people. Get over it, and build the kingdom.
October 22nd, 2006 at 5:05 pm
As one of the whiners, I guess I’ll respond.
We build the kingdom not just by the works we do but also by speaking truth to power.
Mr. Robertson is an incredibly powerful person who has on a number of occasions said things that I believe were not only unchristian, but calculated to divide rather than to build up.
I think we help to build the kingdom when we say to the people who have been hurt by Mr. Robertson’s words that those are not the words of God; that despite what Mr. Robertson has said about them, God has not abandoned them.
Am I supposed to ignore the things Mr. Robertson says because he also does some good? It seems like that would lead to the kind of moral relativism that the right so often accuses the left of believing in.
October 22nd, 2006 at 6:56 pm
Mr. Robertson is an incredibly powerful person who has on a number of occasions said things that I believe were not only unchristian, but calculated to divide rather than to build up.
Well, in fairness, Christ also said many things calculated to divide.
Also, who cares what Pat Robertson does? He is a brother in Christ, who is counted as a child of God, and I can only presume to believe that he will be judged by Christ on the last day, just as each of us will.
Anyway, overall good parable Adam. I agree with the criticism that you can’t really compare the sufferings of one man to that of an impoverished community. They seem to be two very seperate issues. Otherwise, I was glad to see you saying something “nice” about the evangelical side of the church.
October 22nd, 2006 at 11:52 pm
Good post Adam. Our church is in the Hillyard area of Spokane, which is similar to West Central. A lot of churches seem to take the attitude of building big nice buildings outside the city and drawing people out of the slums to them. Then we don’t see the poverty and domestic violence. Then we can make sure we’re not “pandering to a particular mentality of victimhood that discourages people from taking the initiative in their own lives.” It’s crazy to think about where Jesus spent a lot of his time.
Good post Adam, come back to Spokane soon.
October 24th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
Adam,
I appreciate your work. I always thought that if Jesus told this parable today in America, the Samaritan would be an al-Qaida member.
Grace and peace,
n.wright