I’m in a hard place…this post has been in the works for awhile, and I didn’t want to put it up, but I’m at point now where I can’t NOT put it up. It involves a lot of things that have been pretty "big" things in my life recently, consuming things…things that have drained me, and there isn’t much left to be drained unfortunately.
I’ve been involved with Emergent for awhile, and I’ve always been a big supporter of it…however, the more and more I’ve gotten into it – I see things that don’t sit right with me. Are we really doing anything new? Isn’t it just a bunch of conservative evangelicals adding some candles and coffee? I have wanted to say that’s just a minority of folks, but the more and more blogs I read and churches I visit that are "emergent" – I see that it’s really the majority, and it’s saddening. I’m wanting to move on to a more progressive Christianity, and I don’t see Emergent headed in that direction, and so I’m wondering about what that means for me and Emergent in the future…I was going to be in Nashville, but I’ve cancelled my registration…it’s just not where I want to put my energy right now…there are bigger things.
I’ve also become disillusioned with blogging. I know my friends are saying to themselves, "Yah right" right now, but it’s just where I’m at. Blogging has become so much a part of my identity, it seems that is the only conversation I can have these days. Conversations that I’m involved in, at the dining hall, about 90% of the time are about blogs, or my blogging, or Chris P. on my blog, or blog connections or stories that I have….and I’m getting sick of it. There is more to who I am than my blogging and sometimes I think my blog hinders others from seeing those things.
The dialogue and conversations here at pomomusings are pretty lame sometimes too — either they are just cyclical arguments with fundamentalists or they’re just…well, I don’t know. I don’t really see the point of dialogue like I did before – nothing is resolved…nothing is changed…it’s just all talk.
I’m also tired of making the blog so much of my life…with writing for it, designing it, spendings hours tweaking the template…it’s not fun anymore, and it feels like work. I am desiring simplicity in my life…I want to have a more uncluttered life, and the blog is not adding to that. I’m sick of wondering about what’s going to happen to my blog…it’s been over a year and a half of blogging, and it’s just not fun anymore…
So I’ll be stepping away from the emergent conversation for awhile to pursue a more true, more dynamic progressive version of Christianity. Within a week or so, pomomusings will also be no more (if there were any posts you wanted to keep for any reason, it’d be good to search for them now and copy them because I will be deleting the entire thing when I do it). Whether I’ll start a new blog in a few months, I don’t know. I’ll probably have one when I’m over in Palestine this summer, but it will just be for updates and photos. Whether I start a new one or not, I just can’t continue to live as I have been…changes have to be made…sometimes drastic changes are the only ones that really work…that is the point I’m at…
[**Thanks for playing along with my April Fool’s Day joke…sorry so many of you were fooled…]