[I’m typing this for the second damn time. Sometimes my fingers move too fast, and I try to do too many things, so I accidentally escaped out of the entry I was writing…damn, I’m really not happy. It’s 1.30am and I have to try and rethink the huge post I just wrote…patience…breathe…think Adam…]
I’m really not good at NOT blogging. I think it’s because, well, I don’t want to NOT blog right now, I like it. And I’m okay with that. I celebrated New Years pretty hard this year, sitting at home talking with Katie on the phone, and watching The Terminal with my parents. I know. We are crazy. I’m sitting here, now at 1.30am, and thinking about the whole idea of the “new year” [no worries, I’m not into new years resolution lists either]. It’s weird to be done with yet another year. I’ll turn 25 in 2005. It is a good time to sit here and think [read THINK, not worry about, question, ask ‘what if…?’] about the past, live into the present and dream of the future. [I’m listening to Jewel’s version of “I Wonder as I Wander” right now] I wonder…
[Very random sidenote: I sort of feel like Jen Lemen right now. I just get this feeling, because I’m sure I read it somewhere before, that she often blogs after the whole family is in bed and she’s just exhausted, but sits down and feels like she must get some words out…that’s me right now…sidenote done]
I wonder what 2005 will bring. Who I will grow close to, who I will piss off. What I will do, who I will become, how I will change, how I will stay the same. What I will learn, what I’ll question, what I’ll begin to doubt…what views I’ll challenge, what views will challenge me…I hope it will be a big year, a good year, a hard year. But, in the end, it will just be one more year.
As I’m thinking about this tonight, I ran across one of the most exciting and inspiring blog entries recently. I love it; my friend Karen from Raw Faith wrote There’s Blood in My Mouth ‘Cause I’ve Been Biting My Tongue All Week on New Year’s Eve, and it is a must read. Go. Now. Read it. Then come back…
Okay, you’re back. She and Vern (her blogging arch-nemesis, or at least one who disagrees with her a lot on her blog) always seem to “go at it” and she’s sick of it…wait, no she’s not. She’s embracing it! She says its time to get pissed. Read the whole article for yourself, but here are my favorite quotes.
So, Vern and I will not be having a “dialogue,” or a “conversation,” or a “discussion.” No. We’ll be bitch slapping each other on a variety of topics most likely related to his stupid conservative politics and shallow religious beliefs. To facilitate this, please try to use “I” language. For those of you who haven’t spent thousands of hours in therapy, “I” language means that you recast your phrases to be in the first person. Here’s an example – instead of starting out my initial salvo with “Vern, you ignorant slut.” I would say, “Vern, I think you are an ignorant slut.” My first statement is a declarative. It gives the impression that there’s no debate about whether or not Vern is an ignorant slut. In the second statement, I have clearly labeled Vern’s status as an ignorant slut as simply a matter of my own opinion. This is much more respectful, no?
I think it’s beautiful. And I’m wondering…do I have an arch-nemesis who would want to be challenged, and who would challenge me in this way? I don’t know. But I think it’s great. I think there must be times when all the discussion/dialogue/conversation just gets old. I like that on my site, but…there must be those times when you need to go outside and do a bit of bitch-slapping. We’re all pretty concerned about being “nice people” – we don’t want to offend. And maybe it’s time to do a bit of yelling. Now, I’m sure within the next month, I’ll probably post something about how we need to put our differences aside and look at what we have in common, because I’m pretty into that ecumenical, unity, love-your-brother/sister type of thing.
But, I think there must be a time when we read shit like this, and we just have to be honest about it. It’s a pretty fucked up thing to say that God is the “decisive cause of 100,000+ deaths” and that this tsunami was judgment for those unbelievers in Southeast Asia. I think it’s stuff like this where, sure, we could sit around and say, “Well, John Piper is an incredible man of God and he has done a lot to help the spreading of the Gospel…” Instead we need to be saying, “This is WRONG! Okay, if the whole sexist, misogynist thing wasn’t enough, I’m not gonna sit around and take this crap.”
Who knows. I’m not trying to turn this into a really pissed-off rant; like I said, it’s now 2am and I’ll probably post a “Why can’t we all get along” post in a few weeks. But maybe it’s time to just be pissed and just acknowledge that. Oh well, I think my first version was a bit more eloquent, but I’m done for tonight. I hope 2005 is a great year for all of you – may you live into the grace and free abandonment in Christ Jesus, may you feel the presence and empowering Spirit, and may you trust in a God who is actively involved in this world and who hears your prayers…