Time at Monastery
October 30, 2004
Where has the time gone? It is Saturday and Reading Week is over, and I (although I know I’m not alone) feel like I haven’t been nearly as productive as I had initially set out to be. It felt good to not have classes, to have a bit more freedom and to be able to relax some. I read McLaren’s A Generous Orthodoxy for a youth ministry class (I’ll be finishing up my paper on the book this afternoon) and have been working through Mary Solberg’s Compelling Knowledge: A Feminist Proposal for an Epistemology of the Cross. My big concerns are finishing up this paper, trying to think about the three 15-20pg papers I have due in a few months and spending some time with my Hebrew.
One of the highlights of this week was the chance to get up to New York and stay for a few days at the Holy Cross Monastery. Eight of us went and spent 2 nights with the Episcopal monks; resting, relaxing, being in silence and solitude (some more than others) and enjoying God’s beautiful creation. My friend Nick posed the question that many ask after returning from a few days away, “out” of the world, how do we bring the order and rhythm into our daily lives back in the world. It’s a good question, and not one that I have a good answer for. I’d love to hear how other people have found ways to bring rhythm into their lives…
My times at the monasteries I’ve been to are always good, refreshing, quiet - but sometimes I have to ask myself if I really do like the silence, solitude and monastery life really - or do I simply like the idea of being a person who likes monasteries. Those thoughts come into my mind as I sit in the awkwardness and discomfort of the solitude and silence. It brings me face to face with the reality that God and I are strangers. Not something I feel very comfortable writing as a seminary student who is thinking about going into ministry - but….there is truth in that statement. God and I are strangers…am I okay with that? No. Do I want to continue to wrestle with that idea, with my own identity - with God Godself? Yes. And yet, even as I write this, I’m reminded of a little saying Jerry Sittser (my religion professor and mentor at Whitworth) always said, and I’ve repeated often: feelings are real, but they are not reality. And I think this is the case here as well. I have a relationship with Christ. At times, I’m confused by it - but I know it’s there. I do in fact feel like a stranger to God at times, and if that’s my honest reality, my true feelings, that’s okay. However, that is not in fact the reality - God is not a stranger. And that’s where I’m at…
Tags: Monastery, Retreat
Posted in General
Adam Walker Cleaveland: 
October 30th, 2004 at 3:54 pm
Lucky you! The OHC monastery at West Park is one of my favorite places for retreat and spiritual recharging. Since moving to California I haven’t been back but I have very fond memories of the place. Thanks for posting the photos.
October 30th, 2004 at 4:00 pm
Thanks for asking those brave questions out loud. I connect with your candor about solitude, monasteries, and that type of thing. Actually, I’ve never actually been to one. Maybe I’ll check that one out!
October 30th, 2004 at 10:19 pm
Benedictine spirituality is in my blood. I go once a month for a couple of days to St. Benedict’s Abbey and just wallow in the silence, communal prayer, and beautiful creation.
October 31st, 2004 at 9:36 am
Bro,
Nice post. Thanks for being honest. But in regard to the rythmn, how badly do we want it? Sometimes I think the idea sounds romantic. Be a monk. Live like St. Anthony. Have people like Athanasius write books about you. Take pictures with your grey beard in the sunlight, wearing the habit, and looking…well…wise. I can relate with the idea of being in love with the idea…not the actual reality of five public offices a day, living in close quarters with other men, and remaining celibate. All of which require a high degree of committment and sacrifice. As Brother Bede said (more or less), “Hospitality is what we have to offer. That’s what we do best.” Interestingly the monks had to spend a good deal of time sorting out their internal structure before their blessing could be available for the community…